School has started and my retired teacher friends and I are SMILING today! Not that we didn’t love what we did, but read a recent email I received:

Teacher’s Application
After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching prospect said:

“Let me see if I’ve got this right. You want me to go into that room with all those kids, and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning. And I’m supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and even censor their T-shirt messages and dress habits. You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their self esteem. You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, how to play, how to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, and how to apply for a job. I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize signs of anti-social behavior, and make sure all students pass the mandatory state exams, even those who don’t come to school regularly or complete any of their assignments. Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with handicaps get an equal education regardless of the extent of their mental or physical handicap. And I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter, telephone, newsletter and report card. All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books, a bulletin board, a big smile AND on a starting salary that qualifies my family for food stamps! You want me to do all of this and yet you expect me…… NOT TO PRAY???

That about sums it up — except that in a newspaper article today, I read that teachers will not only be responsible for their subject matter and conveying it to students with special needs, they will also focus each month on one of ten “Character Skills: Respect, Courage, Caring, Honesty, Perseverance, Responsibility, Self-discipline, Fairness, Integrity, and Trustworthiness.” The article ended with these words, “The whole school will be involved . . . you have to have custodians involved, bus drivers involved. Everyone has to buy into it.”

Excuse me, I have just one question . . . where are the parents? There is even a wonderful web site that parents can go for help to develop these skills, if they’ll just look: http://www.discoveryjourney.com/

Let the teachers go back to focusing on their subject matter, give them the tools to do it, and the salaries that they deserve (state judges aren’t the only ones leaving public practice because of “low” salaries!), and maybe, just maybe, we will get those test scores UP!

OK, I’m off my soap box now . . . but I feel my blood pressure going up!

Yep, that’s my favorite saying. Oh, I don’t mind cooking — for special occasions, like once or twice a year . . . .

Our wonderful friend, Ann, had a birthday in July. We don’t exchange gifts any more, but we do try to have a birthday dinner. However, she and Nick were RV’ing out of state, so we had a belated celebration. And — even though this WAS a special occasion, it was held at Texas Land and Cattle on Saturday. I did bake a birthday cake — an angel food cake, her favorite. (How hard is that? Open a Betty Crocker box, add water — oh yes, it should be cold water — and mix for about 1 minute; then, pour it into an ungreased angel food cake pan. If you grease the pan, the cake can’t climb up the sides.)

Happy Birthday, Ann! and MANY MORE!! We enjoyed our celebration with you!

Reflection #1 —

First, consider the toilets ?? some you flush manually, but do you push up or down on the handle. Or it may have a big button on the back that you push down — with all your ???might??? using one finger. Or it may be a foot lever (you have to first find by looking around the floor). Other ones flush automatically for you ?? but often at times when you aren??t ready ?? so, you get a big splash (that isn??t so refreshing). If you are finished and ready for it to flush automatically, it is supposed to ???know??? this when you stand. However, sometimes, you have to wave at it or talk to it to make that ???whoosh??? happen. Then, there are times when none of that works, and you look for some other little light or button to make it more pleasant for the next user. Of course, I also love the little sign stapled by one toilet seat in the ladies?? room: ???If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.??? Of course, in order to do that, there must be some toilet paper available — one thing I learned early on, but sometimes I have a senior moment and forget, is to check that there IS some paper in the dispenser before getting comfy!

Second, the faucets ?? some have one handle, some have two. But the ones with two handles don??t have any hot water any way, so why bother with the other handle. Others have a big button you press down and out comes the water, but only long enough for you to wet your hands and then it shuts off. So, you try again ?? only a little faster this time trying to get more water before it shuts off. Forget trying to get to the soap dispenser and back during this (mainly because the soap dispenser is across the room any way). There are also the ???latest??? faucets that have a little electronic device that recognizes movement at the faucet if you stand there and wave long enough to get water flowing. There are times when you are standing there waving and getting no water and then a little child walks up and pushes down on the big button and water flows like a river. You stand there amazed at the ???youth of today.???

Third, the soap dispensers ?? again, they are nowhere NEAR the sinks ?? and it??s impossible not to drip excess soap all over the floor ?? sometimes it is a hazzard because of the slippery floor. Of course, this only happens when the soap dispensers are kept full! More often they are empty.

Fourth, the drying procedure ?? again, one must be ready for many options. The oldest one is the continuous cloth towel holder. With better hygiene and more strict health regulations, this is not found often (thank goodness). This traditional drying procedure left a lot to be desired ?? just one peek at the condition of the used towel portion made it much more likely you would either drip dry or wipe your hands on your jeans. So, then the use of the ???blow dryer??? started appearing. These noisy things are a more healthy choice, but they just are not very fast at drying wet hands ?? and what are you supposed to do if you have a wet face ?? stand upside down? So, now most often found are paper towel dispensers. Some are single pull-down sheets (usually the holder is empty and the bound refills are stacked on top of the dispenser). Others have rolls of paper that you get a portion by pushing down on a lever once, or twice, or half a dozen times. If not a lever, maybe it is a knob that you twist or turn one way or the other and then some paper comes out. (Of course, your hands are about dry by now from all the twisting and turning.) Or, you may again have to use your strongest finger to push in a button that engages a wheel that engages the paper. The latest model, however, is again a little electronic motion detector that you wave something at and a light comes on (to let you know it has ???seen??? you) and some paper comes out. If you are good, you can get a second sheet by waiting for the light to go off and wave at it again! (My four-year old grand-daughter taught me this.)

We’ve all read the signs at every eating establishment that ALL EMPLOYEES MUST WASH THEIR HANDS BEFORE RETURNING TO WORK . . . now, we know why they often don??t.

Spam, anyone? No, not the kind we get through our emails — I’m talking about the kind out of the can.

For a long time, I wouldn’t admit that I really liked Spam — especially after several hundred or maybe thousands started holding an annual Spam-O-Rama. These folks are NOT spam lovers! I haven’t been to this April event, but reports of spam contests, spam art, and spam songs/dance seem to be pretty gross.

Today, I’m “coming out of the pantry.” I love Spam. Now, there ARE limits — it has to be cooked, as in sliced thin and fried in a skillet until golden brown. Throw those slices onto bread with maybe a hint of mustard, add some potato chips to the plate, and you’ve got a great meal or snack. It’s even good cold — but after it has been cooked! And thus, that was my supper tonight — left-over, cold SPAM between two slices of wheat (impressed, huh?) bread. For color, I did throw a few pieces of lettuce and tomato in a bowl — hoping those healthy foods will counter any “bad” stuff in the Spam.

Now, before you go and judge me or reply how awful this dietary news is — answer this question: What is the most favorite food of the people who live in Hawaii?

You probably guessed seafood, pineapple, macadamia nuts . . . .

Wrong.

So, now you’re probably thinking, it’s something weird like Cajun food, or escargot, or Ellie Mae Clampett’s possum soup . . . .

No, still wrong.

OK, maybe you have it now — SPAM! More Spam goes out of the grocery stores there than any other state (source: my husband’s trivia reading). If you doubt him, type “Spam Hawaii” in at Google — two things popped up that may also give you a chuckle:

Hawaii’s 2nd Spam Cookbook
Author: Ann Kondo Corum
Product Code: 1352
ISBN: 1-57306-135-2
Publisher: Bess Press
Pages: 160
Binding Information: Paperback
Size: 8.5″ X 5.5″
Availability: In stock.
Price: $9.95

AND . . .

The 78 McDonald’s outlets in Hawaii have begun test-marketing a breakfast meal that consists of egg, rice and Spam.

Spam has been a laughing matter on the mainland since babyboomers were babies, but the Hormel product made from pork parts is staggeringly popular in Hawaii, which has the highest Spam consumption per capita of any state.

Spam musubi (“moo-soo-BEE”), consisting of a strip of cooked Spam sitting on a block of rice and held in place by a sushi-style seaweed girdle, is a popular breakfast food and lunchtime or picnic snack.

So, from now on when you come to our house, you may see a can or two of this Hormel product near the front of our pantry shelves. Now, that I’ve been made aware of the large number of Spam lovers (and when I think of all those who buy it for the many Spam-O-Rama’s around the country), I’m wondering how Hormel’s stock (HRL) is doing . . . .